Understanding Anxiety and Depression in Students: Insights from the Stepping Stones for Mental Wellness Podcast

In a recent episode of Stepping Stones for Mental Wellness, I sat down with Jen Taylor, LCSW, one of our clinical managers in North Carolina, to talk about anxiety and depression among students.

Jen has years of experience supporting school-based clinicians and helping educators recognize the emotional and behavioral signs that can signal when a student needs extra support.

This episode dove deep into the ways anxiety and depression show up across different ages, how educators can distinguish between normal stress and something more serious, and how schools can create safe, supportive spaces for students.

Recognizing the Signs of Anxiety in Students

Jen began by describing how anxiety can look very different depending on a child’s age.

• In young children, anxiety often shows up physically — stomachaches, headaches, or clinginess when entering new environments. “They don’t have the vocabulary or emotional intelligence to express what they’re feeling,” Jen explained. “So it looks more physical.”
• For teenagers, anxiety can take on a more emotional and behavioral form — withdrawal, avoidance of social situations, or perfectionism. “A teen might stop doing something they love because they’re worried about how others will judge them,” Jen said.

Parents and educators should pay attention to these subtle shifts in behavior. Sometimes what looks like disinterest or refusal may actually be fear or self-doubt.

Stress vs. Anxiety: Knowing the Difference

Jen made an important distinction between stress and anxiety.

• Stress is a normal response to an external event — like a big test or a looming deadline.
• Anxiety, on the other hand, is more internal and persistent. It lingers even after the stressful event passes and can begin to shape a student’s decisions, participation, and sense of belonging.

“When fear starts leading the student instead of the activity,” Jen said, “that’s when we know it’s anxiety and not just stress.”

When Anxiety Looks Like Defiance

One of the most eye-opening parts of our conversation was about how anxiety can sometimes be mistaken for defiance.

Jen shared a story of a student who frequently asked to leave class and refused to participate. At first, teachers thought he was being disruptive — until they discovered he didn’t know where he’d be sleeping each night. His behavior was rooted not in rebellion, but in uncertainty and fear.

“This is why it’s so important to check in,” Jen emphasized. “Ask what’s going on instead of assuming a student just doesn’t want to do the work.”

Supporting Students with School Avoidance

When students struggle with school avoidance, Jen recommends starting small.

“Sometimes we just ask, ‘Can you come for half a day?’ or ‘Can you come for one class?’ Once they’re in the building, they usually stay,” she explained. Breaking attendance into small, achievable goals can help reduce overwhelming feelings and build confidence.

Depression in Students: Post-Pandemic Challenges

Jen also addressed how depression has evolved since the pandemic.

Students today often spend more time online and less time in person, which can lead to increased isolation and unhealthy comparison. “What’s posted online is curated,” Jen reminded listeners. “We need to help students recognize when their online habits make them feel worse about themselves.”

It’s also crucial to remember that depression doesn’t always look like sadness or inactivity. High-achieving students can mask depression behind success — a form of “high-functioning depression” that often goes unnoticed.

Cultural Sensitivity in Conversations About Mental Health

When discussing depression with families, Jen stressed the importance of cultural awareness and avoiding assumptions about how depression “should” look.

“Not every child who’s depressed looks sad or withdrawn,” she said. “And not every high achiever is okay just because they’re excelling.”

Families can start by having simple, emotional check-ins: not just asking “How was your day?” but “How did you feel about your day?”

Perfectionism and Hidden Depression

Perfectionism can be another form of hidden distress. Students who equate their self-worth with achievement often experience burnout and low self-esteem despite success.

“We have to remind them that their value isn’t tied to performance,” Jen said. “Praise who they are, not just what they can do.”

This message applies to all types of high performers — academic stars, student athletes, and those excelling in extracurriculars. Encouragement should focus on the person, not just the outcome.

The Risks of Untreated Depression

If left unaddressed, depression can have a ripple effect on a student’s academic performance, attendance, and social connections.

“Untreated depression can lead to self-isolation and even self-harm,” Jen noted. “It’s essential to notice when a student withdraws and to seek support early.”

Checking in, connecting through activities the student enjoys, and bringing in additional support when needed are all key steps to preventing deeper struggles.

Taking Steps Toward Mental Wellness

As we wrapped up the episode, Jen reminded us that while educators and parents can’t fix everything, they can make a powerful difference simply by noticing, asking, and listening.

If a student begins to pull away, avoid school, or show changes in mood or behavior, reach out. Sometimes, that first check-in is the start of real healing.

At The Stepping Stones Group, we’re committed to equipping schools and clinicians with tools to support the mental wellness of every student — because every small step counts.

Listen to the full episode of Stepping Stones for Mental Wellness on Spotify and follow us for more conversations about student mental health, school-based support, and practical tools for educators and families.

By Tiffanie Ives Coleman 
Director of Client Services, Stepping Stones Mental Health Division